The Holidays

Ah, The Holidays.


Well, Christmas itself has come and gone and I can't say it was the best one we've had. I'll share with you a bit of our happenings.


Mom did make it home for Christmas, thankully the Thursday before but I wasn't sure my hubby would make it home.


The Saturday morning that hubby had to pick up his daughter from the airport he received a phone call from his mother. His father was not breathing when she tried to wake him up. The ambulance came and got him revived but it was possible he had already been 20 minutes without oxygen. He was being rushed to the hospital. So that was the beginning of the heaviness.
Hubs got his daughter from the airport and on the way home spoke to his sister. Their dad was still unconscious and had to be put on a ventilator. He wasn't breathing on his own. Not a good sign but they were hoping. His body was beginning to actually start the decay process so they had to ice his body to bring the body temp down to stop these processes.
On Sunday afternoon, they began bringing the body temp back up so that they could do tests to see if there was any brain activity. Once that was done, they took him off of sedation and the anti-seizure meds so that they could do the testing.
He began having seizures again. Back on sedation he went. But from what they could tell, no brain activity. They tried again on Monday, same thing happened. They would get him prepared for an EEG and the seizures would happen again.
Well, that night the neurologist came in and supposedly their dad moved his big toe. It looked like a good sign. But they wanted to test again on Tuesday. Again, the same thing happened.
My hubby had to leave Tuesday and head to Florida to be with his family. 


He was up at 5:30am for work. Came home and packed & left by noon Tuesday. Got to the town they lived in, Titusville by about 1am Wednesday morning. He still hadn't slept when they went to the hospital at 4:30am. They were there to wait to see the Neurologist again.
Again, they were going to test that afternoon or evening. The results didn't come in until Thursday and they weren't good. By then the rest of the brothers had left to their home states as they had to be back for work and such.


So, the last of the tasks were left to my hubby, his sister and their mother. 


Once Thursday afternoon came the bad news came. The neurologist found that whatever brain activity that their father had was diminished or diminishing very quickly. The only possible part of the stem that MIGHT be working was for the breathing. They were hoping to speak to the lung Doctor about this. Well, he was never to be gotten a hold of as he was on vacation. So a decision had to be made.
They had to decide whether to just keep him on the ventilator and put him on feeding tubes for the rest of his life or take him off, see if he would keep breathing on his own and then go from there. The thing was, he was clinically brain dead. So, if you kept him on the ventilator and feeding tubes, it's just a shell of a body you're keeping alive. Take him off the ventilator and let his own body decide, would make the decision for them.
They took him off of the ventilator.


Their Father, Salvatore, passed away at 7:45pm Thursday evening, December 22nd, 2012.


It has been a hard Christmas for my hubby as he and his parents had just been talking again for a few weeks. Previous to that, they hadn't spoken in about 8 years. All over an argument he and his Mother had that many years ago. 


With that on our plates...2 new children in the house(my step-children), it has been rough. I was left alone with them while the hubs was gone as we couldn't afford for all of us to go. And it wasn't the right time for all of us to go. Although, I wish I could have been there for my hubby during all that was going on. He was exhausted by the time he made it home at 2am Saturday morning, Christmas Eve Day. It took a few days for him to get back to normal, bodily wise. He hardly ate while he was gone. 


With this and me not wanting the steps here...I am nerved up, tense all the time. Afraid to say anything that hubby might perceive as me picking on his kids. I am so tense, my jaw hurts ALL the time. I'm not adjusting well with them here. I've tried to explain but don't know how to explain how I feel, so I just don't say anything. I try to pretend everything is all right but I'm afraid I'll blow up eventually. I resent that they are here probably because I feel "our" time is now put aside.
I know, it's selfish of me but I want back what I had...My life with my hubby.....


Til Later All...


BlueEyedWonder