Well, I've made a decision

I have had so much going on in my life it seems since I started in the Radiology Program. 
First of all, you all know I got in. Well, I was excited but not all at the same time. Once I got it, I really wasn't sure it's what I wanted to do.
Everyone kept telling me, "It's what you've worked so hard to get into"...Well, I thought it was.
I have gone to classes. I have started clinicals. And it's nothing that I expected it to be. It's stressful and I'm only in the beginning stages. It's only going to get worse before it gets better.
So much to remember. And you can't just memorize it, you have to LEARN it. Seriously learn it. Why? Because it's the stuff you'll be using every day. So it makes sense.
That's not the stressful stuff. It's all the people that rely on me. I thought I could deal with getting my daughter where she needs to be, going to school, studying, working, and doing what I can for everyone beyond that. I found that since I can't JUST concentrate on school, I've been getting more and more stressed as the time passes.


I wish I had listened to my gut in the first place. Not just that instinct but all the walls that kept being thrown in my face on the way to classes starting...I seriously kept thinking, "maybe I shouldn't be going ahead with this" because of the walls that kept coming up. I haven't felt happy about this either. I haven't felt that feeling of, "I am going for it no matter what" kind of feeling. Do you know what I mean??
Everyone has noticed how stressed I've been. How worn down I've been. Bags under my eyes. Not sleeping well. Getting headaches more often. Just have felt this exhaustion that I've not felt before. I have felt like someone has beaten me with 10ft poles! 


So today, after a long talk with my hubby yesterday, I decided that...I am done. I can say that 5 yrs. from now, I will not regret this decision.
I'm going to look in another direction. Not sure yet but have a little idea going on in my head. I'll keep you posted on that! 
In the meantime, I'm going to see if anything pops up for me in employment. Other than teaching my Zumba classes...If something decent comes up that looks like it'll be worth working for in the long term, I just might stay there..or continue on in classes online...We shall see!


I felt this was better than going on ahead with this semester and wasting money on something that I wasn't happy with.


Til Later All...


BlueEyedWonder